anii (sic) and swans and such.

In the interest of pulling this blog out of complete lassitude, if only for a moment, i give you these snippits, pilfered from Harpers Weekly, which is So awesome:
An elderly German woman filed a lawsuit against a hospital in Bavaria after she checked in for a leg operation and was instead given a new anus. ...It was reported that Petra, the German black swan who fell in love with a swan-shaped paddleboat two years ago, has moved on to a new relationship with a live white swan. The two are now building a nest together.

Although I'm trying not to be one of those bloggers

that post silly weird pictures they find on the internet, i'm failing miserably.
This:

found when googling "playgrounds" this morning.

I was also happy to discover, quite by chance, that someone has a blog entitled My Chutney Garden.
Chutney.
A word preposterously underused in everyday life.

teaTime. a paginical (sic) preview.

This from the Nerve Guide to Sex Etiquette

Which is on its second read now, and as gutsplittingly funny as ever.

When inviting a paramour to one's abode, the gracious host ensures their guest's stay is as comfortable as possible. No need to redecorate, after all, your space is a reflection of who you are—excepting, of course, if you are a filthy pig, in which case betraying yourself and procuring a Swiffer is in order...
...The toilet bowl lid should always be left down. If that is too taxing, then at least leave the seat down, dear cretin. If there is something you do not want to be discovered—a sex toy, adult diapers, a shrunken head—do not keep it in your medicine cabinet. Finally, as a true lady or gentleman, you should always have a guest toothbrush ready, still in its packaging, just in case a guest requests one. You do not keep a drawer full of them for guests to "pick their favourite colour", as if you were the sex dentist.