This from the Nerve Guide to Sex Etiquette

Which is on its second read now, and as gutsplittingly funny as ever.

When inviting a paramour to one's abode, the gracious host ensures their guest's stay is as comfortable as possible. No need to redecorate, after all, your space is a reflection of who you are—excepting, of course, if you are a filthy pig, in which case betraying yourself and procuring a Swiffer is in order...
...The toilet bowl lid should always be left down. If that is too taxing, then at least leave the seat down, dear cretin. If there is something you do not want to be discovered—a sex toy, adult diapers, a shrunken head—do not keep it in your medicine cabinet. Finally, as a true lady or gentleman, you should always have a guest toothbrush ready, still in its packaging, just in case a guest requests one. You do not keep a drawer full of them for guests to "pick their favourite colour", as if you were the sex dentist.